< Back
CHAPTER ONE
“GATHER ROUND, PEOPLE, GATHER ROUND.”
Bellowed Jimmy, standing on the table like he was the supreme ruler of everything. “YOU WILL NOW WITNESS THE HUMILIATING DEFEAT OF ARI ANDERSON IN ROUND ONE OF… Wait for it…”
He paused for dramatic effect.
“THE DRAWING COMPETITION!!!”
The pedestrians walking by were either staring, chuckling, or muttering while they picked up whatever they dropped when they were startled by Jimmy’s yells about our drawing competition.
I pulled Jimmy down off the table, which was hard, because I needed both hands to fully cover my face.
“For crying out loud Jimmy, it’s just a bloody drawing competition. You don’t need to make such a hullabal-“
“THREE. TWO. ONE. DRAW!!!!” Screamed Jimmy, and started furiously scribbling on his piece of paper.
“Jimmy, please. I’m not as, uhhh…”
I tried to think of a word to describe his behaviour without saying “idiotic”.
“Extroverted as you.”
Jimmy stopped stabbing the paper and looked up.
“What does Ex-to-vert-ed mean?”
Ah, Jimmy. Not the brightest bulb in the light shop.
“It means to, um, be really, um, loud, about, um, stuff. Confident is the word i’m looking for.”
Jimmy stared at me.
“But isn’t confidence a good thing?”
“Jim, we’ve had this conversation a gazillion times. Confidence is good, but overconfidence is bad.”
“But how am I supposed to know when i’m being overconfident?”
I smirked slyly.
“When you literally screamed to the entire neighbourhood that you were going to draw a better-looking elephant than me in less than a minute, but…”
I pointed to my drawing of an elephant, which was extremely detailed by the way, and then to the timer, which had about thirty seconds left in it.
Jimmy yelped and began furiously drawing again.
Thirty seconds later, Jimmy had completely given up on his drawing and decided to ‘officially’ edit the competition into making paper planes.
I had to leave when he started drawing rude pictures of things like an elephant doing a poo and then folding them into paper aeroplanes and chucking them over people’s fences.
CHAPTER TWO
You might wonder why a quiet, arts-and-crafts kind of child became friends with such a crazy kid.
Well, it started about 2 years ago…
***DRAMATIC FLASHBACK…***
I was about eight years old when my dad suddenly said one night “We’re moving house.” And that’s pretty much all I can remember of the moving stage except for all the half-forgotten memories of a big truck and all our stuff getting hauled out of the house.
But after all the moving and getting all our stuff into our new house, I found it hard to settle into an unfamiliar neighbourhood.
But then Jimmy saw me sitting on a bench one day drawing by myself, and he sidled up to me and said,
“Hey kid, you look lonely. Wanna be friends? Great! I’ll grab my drawing stuff.”
Even though we are almost polar opposites, we still became friends.
***FLASHBACK DRAMATICALLY ENDS.***
I jogged home with my backpack full of drawing materials bobbing up and down, hurting my shoulders like crazy and keeping an ear out for the disgusted yells of the people who found a picture of an elephant poo in their flower patch.
I lived on quite a nice street.
Beside the sidewalk where rows of trees that over hung the road, almost creating a tunnel of branches and leaves. The occasional patch of dandelions gave the green grass a pattern of yellow polka-dots.
The houses looked quite modern, with nice colour schemes. .
I’m quite glad I moved here.
I opened the door to my house and stepped inside.
“Oranges.” Yelped Grandpa as Poppy (My pug) sprang off his lap and ran over to me.
She jumped up and down all over me.
“Alright, alright. I’ve only been gone for half an hour.”
Grandpa harrumphed into his beard and sidled over into the kitchen.
“There you are!” Cried Mum, who was setting the table.
“We were just about to eat without you!”
I was very glad they chose not to, because Friday was pizza night.
Me, Grandpa, Grandma, Mum and Dad sat around the table.
Poppy, our little black pug puppy was running in circles under the table hoping somebody would drop their pizza slice.
After dinner, we moved to the lounge room to watch TV.
It was my turn to pick a show.
“Now, Ari, don’t put on anything stupid, or anything that you aren’t allowed to wa-“
“T H E S I M P S O N S.” Blared the TV.
While me and mum argued whether The Simpsons was an appropriate show, a rickety old van trundled down the road.
Eventually, the van pulled up and parked.
Right into the driveway of the empty house next door.
CHAPTER THREE
I woke up at something like 6:00 in the morning by a loud knocking at the door.
Instantly, Poppy began barking, and someone began cursing under their breath.
Knock knock knock.
Somebody answered the door.
“Can I help you?” Asked Dad’s voice.
“Err, yes. Ye see, ahhh, could you help us unpack our stuff from the trucks? Its hard work, and we need help.”
There was a pause.
“Uhhh… Ok, i’ll wake everyone up.”
I heard Dad walk over to my room.
“Alright, Ari, rise and shine.” He said and he walked in.
“Quickly, get changed out of those filthy pyjamas and meet me outside.”
Dad walked out and began waking everyone up.
Once I had finished changing, I walked out of my bedroom and jumped a mile when I saw this strange man standing in the doorway.
“Ey, kid.” He called.
I panicked internally for a moment, not knowing who this guy was, but then I realised that he was the weirdo dad talked to at the door.
Alright, fine, that makes me look quite stupid for not instantly realising something so obvious, but remember, I usually wake up at 9:00, not 6:00, so my brain was a bit addled in the first place.
“Ey kid.” Called the man.
“Can I come in?”
The man was wearing this half-done up Hawaiian shirt with a horrendous pattern of mushrooms on it, with chest hair creeping out from the buttons he forgot to do up.
His hair was odd. It has sort of a bouncy, bobby shiny look to it.
It looked like a wig to me.
His skin was quite wrinkly, like he’d been in a bath for hours.
His ginormous feet were covered by these tattered nikes.
And most of all, he stank like sweaty socks.
“Ummm…” I mumbled, not really wanting this stinky man in our house, and also because it wasn’t really my decision to make.
But, being so polite and a little bit intimidated, I said
“Um, ok. Come in.”
“GAH AH AH AH AH!!” He laughed.
He sounded like a sea lion with an itchy throat.
“Thanks!”
He kicked off his shoes right at my feet, and then barged past me into the kitchen.
Bemused, scared and offended, I followed him.
The weirdo was rustling around in the fridge like a pig in mud looking for a carrot.
Eventually, he pulled out something brown.
And delicious.
MY CHOCOLATE BAR.
He has gone too far now.
Time for some DRASTIC ACTION.
I drew myself up to my full height.
“Could you please not eat my chocolate bar? I was saving it. Thank you.” I squeaked in a tiny voice.
He spun around and looked at me as if I was a bug on his shoe.
He took his time, considering wether to squash me or not.
“Kid.” He grunted, his nose sticking up. He really was like a pig.
“You ever heard of this word? It’s called…” He paused for dramatic effect.
“Sharing.” He said, and then splayed his arms out wide.
“Does that resonate with you? Like, at all?” He asked expectantly with wide eyes, as if expecting smattering applause.
I just stood there, looking frightened.
He grunted, and took another bite out of my chocolate bar.
MY CHOCOLATE BAR.
I stood there fuming inside until dad came in.
“Ok.” He said. “Everyone’s ready.”
“Great.” Said the Weirdo, lounging on the couch.
“I’m Chris, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris. I’m Nate.” Said Dad.
After we had all gone outside, Chris had began ordering us around.
“Alright, so you.” he said to Mum, flicking his hand to a pile of boxes.
“Move those boxes just innoo the doorway of the ‘ouse.
You two,” He grunted, flicking a finger at Grandma and Grandpa.
“Do that as well.”
Oh dear. Two elderly people over 70 years old lifting ten-kilo boxes? Nuh-uh. I don’t think so.
When Grandma and Grandpa started struggling with the boxes, Chris said, “Come on! Hurry! Chop Chop!”
What blooming cheek! He had the nerve to order frail old people to lift massive heavy boxes and then COMPLAIN that they weren’t fast enough?!
How dare he!
I marched over to Chris and planted myself right in front of his eyeline, took a DEEP breath and squeaked,
“AreyousurethatGrandmaandGrandpaarestrongenoughtoliftthoseboxes?” I squeezed out the words before I lost my nerve.
“I-i mean, it might be, um, uhhhhh, a bit… heavy? For… them?”
I gibbered.
Chris stared down at me.
“No.” He said flatly.
He stared for a little longer.
“Could you help my son move all the tables and chairs into the house?” He said.
“Well, I-“
“Great! My son Julian is in the truck.”
Oh great. Now I have to deal with his son.
I walked into the back of the giant truck.
“Hello?” I mumbled into the darkness.
‘Hello?’? How stupid. This isn’t a cave in an abandoned mineshaft.
But the truck was big, and the further I went into it, the more it seemed like a mineshaft.
I heard I rustling behind me. I spun around but there was nothing there. Probably just a… err… I have no idea what.
And then it hit me.
It was probably Chris’s son, Julian.
“Very funny, Julian.” I called out into the blackness.
“You’re not going scare m-“
“RAAARGH!!” Shrieked a voice behind me.
I rolled my eyes and turned around.
“Very funny, Julian. I know that you-“
I stopped talking immediately, for I was face to face with something with a long, crooked nose, needle-like teeth, and red blazing eyes.
I screamed the loudest I had ever screamed in my life and I ran the fastest I ever had in my life.
Straight out of the truck and into an empty box.
Something kicked the box I was in, sending it tumbling down our driveway.
Eventually I flopped out, battered and bruised.
Something slapped into my head. It was the monster’s face.
It was a mask.
A wheezing, laughing laughing face was shoved next to mine.
“GAAAAAAH AHAHAHAHA!” Screeched the face.
“Nice to MEEET you, neighbour.”
“Julian!” Said a girl’s voice.
I spun around.
A girl was standing behind me, looking angrily at Julian. She wasn’t nearly as ugly as him. Her face was pimple-free, had long dark blond hair, and wore pinkish-red glasses.
“Why do you have to be so mean all the time?”
Julian groaned and rolled his eyes.
“I’m not mean. You’re just such a SAINT that ANYONE would look mean next to you. I’M just funny. You’re a whingeing angelic toad and an excruciatingly annoying sister!”
“Go AWAY.” Growled Julian’s sister.
“MAKE me!” He snarled back.
‘WHAT is going on here?!” Boomed Chris.
Julian turned from a vicious, intimidating bully to a poor victim in seconds.
He filled his eyes with tears.
“S-Sammy was being mean to that k-kid so I tried to stop her, and she pushed me over and called me a toad!”
Chris literally growled.
“YOU! YOU ARE ALWAYS SO VILE TO YOUR BROTHER. GET INSIDE. NOW.”
He shoved her away.
“I am embarrassed to be your father.” He snarled as she ran off.
“Are you alright, Julian?”
Julian sniffed.
“Yeah, i’m fine.”
Chris looked at me. “Sorry Sammy bullied you kid. She’s disgusting. I see you’ve met Julian, my beautiful son.” He and tousled the boy’s hair.
Like his father, Julian had small, piggy eyes, a big nose and a chin that looked like a butt. He had smooth, oily slicked-back hair.
His face was covered in spots and pimples.
Julian hauled me up by the collar and gave my hand a violent shake. It felt like he was going to rip my arm off.
“That’s my handsome boy.” Beamed Chris.
What a disgusting pair.
“What’s your name, squirt?” Barked Julian once his father had strutted away.
I hesitated.
“A-a-a-Ari.” I mumbled.
“WASSAT, BOY?” He shouted, cupping his hand to his ear.
“CHOO SAY SUMFINK?”
“WOT’S. YOUR. NAME!?”
“A-Ari.” I said a little louder.
“TANK YOU!” He pushed me away.
“Now, git those chairs and get them innoo my ‘ouse.”
The chairs were quite heavy, and Julian insisted that I move them 2 at a time.
I was just going to get another stack of chairs when…
“Hi, strangers!” Said a voice.
Jimmy showed up.
Julian stared at Jimmy.
“HOO’S DISS IDIOT?”
“My name is JIMMY THE GREAT!” Yelled Jimmy.
Julian spat at Jimmy.
“Heyyy!” Whined Jimmy.
“Don’t spit at me, Pimple-face!”
Chris walked over.
“What did you just call my son? Pimple-faced? Listen, you little idiot, my son is a champion. He’s won hundreds of competitions.
I think you could learn a thing or two from us.” He sneered at Jimmy.
He turned to me.
“Tell your little friend that he can move that table over there.”
He snorted in my face, and strutted off, with Julian close behind.
“Who were those idiots?” Jimmy asked me.
“They’re our new neighbours.” I whispered back.
Jimmy put his hand ver his mouth.
“Man, i’m so sorr-“
“WHY AREN’T YOU MOVING THAT TABLE?!” Bellowed Chris.
Jimmy picked up the table, walked a few paces, and then dropped it.
“RIGHT.” Roared Chris, his face going red.
“YOU. LEAVE.” He grabbed Jimmy and shoved him out onto the street.
“Disgusting boy.” He muttered.
After a full day of Chris bellowing around the place and Julian blowing spitballs and pushing people over, me and my family were seated at the dinner table.
“What’s with those psychos? And why did they have to move here?” I said to no one in particular.
“Chris is… well… he probably has some sort of anger issue.
And Julian probably has some sort of disorder.”
Mum sighed.
“We just have to be patient and enduring of them.”
After dinner, I opened my iPad and messaged Jimmy.
ARI: You alright Jimmy?
JIMMY: Of course i’m ok. But what buttheads. I cant believe they’re moving in next 2 you! I feel so sorry for you!
ARI: Julian had a sister too. Her name was Sammy, i think.
JIMMY: Oh no. Double trouble.
ARI: No, actually, she was really nice. She stood up and defended me. But Julian framed her for being mean and then Chris sent her away. He got really mad.
JIMMY: Ho is Chris?
ARI: Their dad.
JIMMY: Oh. Poor Sammy.
ARI: I know. What buttheads.
JIMMY: I’ve got a nickname for Chris already.
ARI: What?
The nickname Jimmy sent was so rude and insulting that I couldn’t help but laugh like crazy.
“OI!” Bellowed a voice from next door.
“SHUT UP! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!
“GATHER ROUND, PEOPLE, GATHER ROUND.”
Bellowed Jimmy, standing on the table like he was the supreme ruler of everything. “YOU WILL NOW WITNESS THE HUMILIATING DEFEAT OF ARI ANDERSON IN ROUND ONE OF… Wait for it…”
He paused for dramatic effect.
“THE DRAWING COMPETITION!!!”
The pedestrians walking by were either staring, chuckling, or muttering while they picked up whatever they dropped when they were startled by Jimmy’s yells about our drawing competition.
I pulled Jimmy down off the table, which was hard, because I needed both hands to fully cover my face.
“For crying out loud Jimmy, it’s just a bloody drawing competition. You don’t need to make such a hullabal-“
“THREE. TWO. ONE. DRAW!!!!” Screamed Jimmy, and started furiously scribbling on his piece of paper.
“Jimmy, please. I’m not as, uhhh…”
I tried to think of a word to describe his behaviour without saying “idiotic”.
“Extroverted as you.”
Jimmy stopped stabbing the paper and looked up.
“What does Ex-to-vert-ed mean?”
Ah, Jimmy. Not the brightest bulb in the light shop.
“It means to, um, be really, um, loud, about, um, stuff. Confident is the word i’m looking for.”
Jimmy stared at me.
“But isn’t confidence a good thing?”
“Jim, we’ve had this conversation a gazillion times. Confidence is good, but overconfidence is bad.”
“But how am I supposed to know when i’m being overconfident?”
I smirked slyly.
“When you literally screamed to the entire neighbourhood that you were going to draw a better-looking elephant than me in less than a minute, but…”
I pointed to my drawing of an elephant, which was extremely detailed by the way, and then to the timer, which had about thirty seconds left in it.
Jimmy yelped and began furiously drawing again.
Thirty seconds later, Jimmy had completely given up on his drawing and decided to ‘officially’ edit the competition into making paper planes.
I had to leave when he started drawing rude pictures of things like an elephant doing a poo and then folding them into paper aeroplanes and chucking them over people’s fences.
CHAPTER TWO
You might wonder why a quiet, arts-and-crafts kind of child became friends with such a crazy kid.
Well, it started about 2 years ago…
***DRAMATIC FLASHBACK…***
I was about eight years old when my dad suddenly said one night “We’re moving house.” And that’s pretty much all I can remember of the moving stage except for all the half-forgotten memories of a big truck and all our stuff getting hauled out of the house.
But after all the moving and getting all our stuff into our new house, I found it hard to settle into an unfamiliar neighbourhood.
But then Jimmy saw me sitting on a bench one day drawing by myself, and he sidled up to me and said,
“Hey kid, you look lonely. Wanna be friends? Great! I’ll grab my drawing stuff.”
Even though we are almost polar opposites, we still became friends.
***FLASHBACK DRAMATICALLY ENDS.***
I jogged home with my backpack full of drawing materials bobbing up and down, hurting my shoulders like crazy and keeping an ear out for the disgusted yells of the people who found a picture of an elephant poo in their flower patch.
I lived on quite a nice street.
Beside the sidewalk where rows of trees that over hung the road, almost creating a tunnel of branches and leaves. The occasional patch of dandelions gave the green grass a pattern of yellow polka-dots.
The houses looked quite modern, with nice colour schemes. .
I’m quite glad I moved here.
I opened the door to my house and stepped inside.
“Oranges.” Yelped Grandpa as Poppy (My pug) sprang off his lap and ran over to me.
She jumped up and down all over me.
“Alright, alright. I’ve only been gone for half an hour.”
Grandpa harrumphed into his beard and sidled over into the kitchen.
“There you are!” Cried Mum, who was setting the table.
“We were just about to eat without you!”
I was very glad they chose not to, because Friday was pizza night.
Me, Grandpa, Grandma, Mum and Dad sat around the table.
Poppy, our little black pug puppy was running in circles under the table hoping somebody would drop their pizza slice.
After dinner, we moved to the lounge room to watch TV.
It was my turn to pick a show.
“Now, Ari, don’t put on anything stupid, or anything that you aren’t allowed to wa-“
“T H E S I M P S O N S.” Blared the TV.
While me and mum argued whether The Simpsons was an appropriate show, a rickety old van trundled down the road.
Eventually, the van pulled up and parked.
Right into the driveway of the empty house next door.
CHAPTER THREE
I woke up at something like 6:00 in the morning by a loud knocking at the door.
Instantly, Poppy began barking, and someone began cursing under their breath.
Knock knock knock.
Somebody answered the door.
“Can I help you?” Asked Dad’s voice.
“Err, yes. Ye see, ahhh, could you help us unpack our stuff from the trucks? Its hard work, and we need help.”
There was a pause.
“Uhhh… Ok, i’ll wake everyone up.”
I heard Dad walk over to my room.
“Alright, Ari, rise and shine.” He said and he walked in.
“Quickly, get changed out of those filthy pyjamas and meet me outside.”
Dad walked out and began waking everyone up.
Once I had finished changing, I walked out of my bedroom and jumped a mile when I saw this strange man standing in the doorway.
“Ey, kid.” He called.
I panicked internally for a moment, not knowing who this guy was, but then I realised that he was the weirdo dad talked to at the door.
Alright, fine, that makes me look quite stupid for not instantly realising something so obvious, but remember, I usually wake up at 9:00, not 6:00, so my brain was a bit addled in the first place.
“Ey kid.” Called the man.
“Can I come in?”
The man was wearing this half-done up Hawaiian shirt with a horrendous pattern of mushrooms on it, with chest hair creeping out from the buttons he forgot to do up.
His hair was odd. It has sort of a bouncy, bobby shiny look to it.
It looked like a wig to me.
His skin was quite wrinkly, like he’d been in a bath for hours.
His ginormous feet were covered by these tattered nikes.
And most of all, he stank like sweaty socks.
“Ummm…” I mumbled, not really wanting this stinky man in our house, and also because it wasn’t really my decision to make.
But, being so polite and a little bit intimidated, I said
“Um, ok. Come in.”
“GAH AH AH AH AH!!” He laughed.
He sounded like a sea lion with an itchy throat.
“Thanks!”
He kicked off his shoes right at my feet, and then barged past me into the kitchen.
Bemused, scared and offended, I followed him.
The weirdo was rustling around in the fridge like a pig in mud looking for a carrot.
Eventually, he pulled out something brown.
And delicious.
MY CHOCOLATE BAR.
He has gone too far now.
Time for some DRASTIC ACTION.
I drew myself up to my full height.
“Could you please not eat my chocolate bar? I was saving it. Thank you.” I squeaked in a tiny voice.
He spun around and looked at me as if I was a bug on his shoe.
He took his time, considering wether to squash me or not.
“Kid.” He grunted, his nose sticking up. He really was like a pig.
“You ever heard of this word? It’s called…” He paused for dramatic effect.
“Sharing.” He said, and then splayed his arms out wide.
“Does that resonate with you? Like, at all?” He asked expectantly with wide eyes, as if expecting smattering applause.
I just stood there, looking frightened.
He grunted, and took another bite out of my chocolate bar.
MY CHOCOLATE BAR.
I stood there fuming inside until dad came in.
“Ok.” He said. “Everyone’s ready.”
“Great.” Said the Weirdo, lounging on the couch.
“I’m Chris, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Chris. I’m Nate.” Said Dad.
After we had all gone outside, Chris had began ordering us around.
“Alright, so you.” he said to Mum, flicking his hand to a pile of boxes.
“Move those boxes just innoo the doorway of the ‘ouse.
You two,” He grunted, flicking a finger at Grandma and Grandpa.
“Do that as well.”
Oh dear. Two elderly people over 70 years old lifting ten-kilo boxes? Nuh-uh. I don’t think so.
When Grandma and Grandpa started struggling with the boxes, Chris said, “Come on! Hurry! Chop Chop!”
What blooming cheek! He had the nerve to order frail old people to lift massive heavy boxes and then COMPLAIN that they weren’t fast enough?!
How dare he!
I marched over to Chris and planted myself right in front of his eyeline, took a DEEP breath and squeaked,
“AreyousurethatGrandmaandGrandpaarestrongenoughtoliftthoseboxes?” I squeezed out the words before I lost my nerve.
“I-i mean, it might be, um, uhhhhh, a bit… heavy? For… them?”
I gibbered.
Chris stared down at me.
“No.” He said flatly.
He stared for a little longer.
“Could you help my son move all the tables and chairs into the house?” He said.
“Well, I-“
“Great! My son Julian is in the truck.”
Oh great. Now I have to deal with his son.
I walked into the back of the giant truck.
“Hello?” I mumbled into the darkness.
‘Hello?’? How stupid. This isn’t a cave in an abandoned mineshaft.
But the truck was big, and the further I went into it, the more it seemed like a mineshaft.
I heard I rustling behind me. I spun around but there was nothing there. Probably just a… err… I have no idea what.
And then it hit me.
It was probably Chris’s son, Julian.
“Very funny, Julian.” I called out into the blackness.
“You’re not going scare m-“
“RAAARGH!!” Shrieked a voice behind me.
I rolled my eyes and turned around.
“Very funny, Julian. I know that you-“
I stopped talking immediately, for I was face to face with something with a long, crooked nose, needle-like teeth, and red blazing eyes.
I screamed the loudest I had ever screamed in my life and I ran the fastest I ever had in my life.
Straight out of the truck and into an empty box.
Something kicked the box I was in, sending it tumbling down our driveway.
Eventually I flopped out, battered and bruised.
Something slapped into my head. It was the monster’s face.
It was a mask.
A wheezing, laughing laughing face was shoved next to mine.
“GAAAAAAH AHAHAHAHA!” Screeched the face.
“Nice to MEEET you, neighbour.”
“Julian!” Said a girl’s voice.
I spun around.
A girl was standing behind me, looking angrily at Julian. She wasn’t nearly as ugly as him. Her face was pimple-free, had long dark blond hair, and wore pinkish-red glasses.
“Why do you have to be so mean all the time?”
Julian groaned and rolled his eyes.
“I’m not mean. You’re just such a SAINT that ANYONE would look mean next to you. I’M just funny. You’re a whingeing angelic toad and an excruciatingly annoying sister!”
“Go AWAY.” Growled Julian’s sister.
“MAKE me!” He snarled back.
‘WHAT is going on here?!” Boomed Chris.
Julian turned from a vicious, intimidating bully to a poor victim in seconds.
He filled his eyes with tears.
“S-Sammy was being mean to that k-kid so I tried to stop her, and she pushed me over and called me a toad!”
Chris literally growled.
“YOU! YOU ARE ALWAYS SO VILE TO YOUR BROTHER. GET INSIDE. NOW.”
He shoved her away.
“I am embarrassed to be your father.” He snarled as she ran off.
“Are you alright, Julian?”
Julian sniffed.
“Yeah, i’m fine.”
Chris looked at me. “Sorry Sammy bullied you kid. She’s disgusting. I see you’ve met Julian, my beautiful son.” He and tousled the boy’s hair.
Like his father, Julian had small, piggy eyes, a big nose and a chin that looked like a butt. He had smooth, oily slicked-back hair.
His face was covered in spots and pimples.
Julian hauled me up by the collar and gave my hand a violent shake. It felt like he was going to rip my arm off.
“That’s my handsome boy.” Beamed Chris.
What a disgusting pair.
“What’s your name, squirt?” Barked Julian once his father had strutted away.
I hesitated.
“A-a-a-Ari.” I mumbled.
“WASSAT, BOY?” He shouted, cupping his hand to his ear.
“CHOO SAY SUMFINK?”
“WOT’S. YOUR. NAME!?”
“A-Ari.” I said a little louder.
“TANK YOU!” He pushed me away.
“Now, git those chairs and get them innoo my ‘ouse.”
The chairs were quite heavy, and Julian insisted that I move them 2 at a time.
I was just going to get another stack of chairs when…
“Hi, strangers!” Said a voice.
Jimmy showed up.
Julian stared at Jimmy.
“HOO’S DISS IDIOT?”
“My name is JIMMY THE GREAT!” Yelled Jimmy.
Julian spat at Jimmy.
“Heyyy!” Whined Jimmy.
“Don’t spit at me, Pimple-face!”
Chris walked over.
“What did you just call my son? Pimple-faced? Listen, you little idiot, my son is a champion. He’s won hundreds of competitions.
I think you could learn a thing or two from us.” He sneered at Jimmy.
He turned to me.
“Tell your little friend that he can move that table over there.”
He snorted in my face, and strutted off, with Julian close behind.
“Who were those idiots?” Jimmy asked me.
“They’re our new neighbours.” I whispered back.
Jimmy put his hand ver his mouth.
“Man, i’m so sorr-“
“WHY AREN’T YOU MOVING THAT TABLE?!” Bellowed Chris.
Jimmy picked up the table, walked a few paces, and then dropped it.
“RIGHT.” Roared Chris, his face going red.
“YOU. LEAVE.” He grabbed Jimmy and shoved him out onto the street.
“Disgusting boy.” He muttered.
After a full day of Chris bellowing around the place and Julian blowing spitballs and pushing people over, me and my family were seated at the dinner table.
“What’s with those psychos? And why did they have to move here?” I said to no one in particular.
“Chris is… well… he probably has some sort of anger issue.
And Julian probably has some sort of disorder.”
Mum sighed.
“We just have to be patient and enduring of them.”
After dinner, I opened my iPad and messaged Jimmy.
ARI: You alright Jimmy?
JIMMY: Of course i’m ok. But what buttheads. I cant believe they’re moving in next 2 you! I feel so sorry for you!
ARI: Julian had a sister too. Her name was Sammy, i think.
JIMMY: Oh no. Double trouble.
ARI: No, actually, she was really nice. She stood up and defended me. But Julian framed her for being mean and then Chris sent her away. He got really mad.
JIMMY: Ho is Chris?
ARI: Their dad.
JIMMY: Oh. Poor Sammy.
ARI: I know. What buttheads.
JIMMY: I’ve got a nickname for Chris already.
ARI: What?
The nickname Jimmy sent was so rude and insulting that I couldn’t help but laugh like crazy.
“OI!” Bellowed a voice from next door.
“SHUT UP! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!!!