Published writing

Neighborhood Mayhem Brian broke his arm 10 times in his old job as a stuntman. After years of travelling the world like a rockstar Brian now lives alone in a small house in sleepy suburb of Summer Heights. Brian loves to garden, listen to the birds and watch his favourite team the Sydney Kings basketball team live on television. Summer Heights has a sweet smell like strong perfume. Every garden in Brian’s street had an old white jasmine bush so maybe that’s why the air smelled so delightful. One night Brian heard a strange noise to the side of his house where the new neighbour had moved in. 80 firecrackers loudly exploded to celebrate his new neighbours 80th birthday but Brian didn’t move from the comfort of his couch. Instead upon hearing all the noise Brian closed his curtains and turned up the television volumes so he could hear his insane basketball game. Through the window curtain gaps Brian could see 80 candles on a 80th birthday cake which unbeknown to him almost started a fire but Brian still continued ignored the outside world to concentrate on his basketball game. Brian thinks the smell of the 80 candles burning is instead his bbq hotdogs cooking on the stove for dinner during the half time at the basketball match. Suddenly 80 police cars and fire engines arrive with sirens sounding followed by 80 gunshots fired. Brian then hears a knock at the door. It is a police officer in full uniform apologising for all the loud noise. The party goers were honoring his new neighbor the retired Chief Commissioner of Police 80th birthday with a traditional gun shot salute. Brian says, “No worries” and closes the door to continue watching the basketball game though all the noise of the party. The Sydney Kings are just about to win the basketball game and just then the television cuts out because a traditional 80 gun shot salute bullet hits the power lines and Brian never knows who won the game. Just before the TV cut out the Channel 7 newsbreak had mentioned the brand new Police Commissioner was on her way to the 80th birthday party and was expected to arrive in 30 minutes. Brian really wanted to know the score of his basketball game but with no electricity and no phone because his phone was broken from posting too many old stunt show footage to his Tik Tok feed Brain has no choice but to go outside and ask someone at the party to check their phone for the score He also saw it as a good opportunity to meet the new Chief of Police. Just as Brain gets to his outside letterbox he sees the retired Chief Commissioner running towards him yelling something strange. “Can I use your bathtub?” says the retired Police Commissioner puffing. Brian thinking it was a bad idea to be going outside as it was very windy says to the retired Police Chief Commissioner, “No way, go away!” The retired Chief Commissioner yells, “There’s a cyclone coming now and the bath is the safest place to be in a house during a cyclone.” The retired Chief commissioner gets his rusty old megaphone out from his car and invites everyone on the street to get in Brian’s bathtub yelling; “Run, jump, leap into Brian’s bathtub and you will survive the cyclone. “ Brian with all his years of stunt training steals a police officers motorbike and rangles up neighbors on the street by placing them on the back of the bike just like you see in a Mission Impossible movie - saving everyone on the street. The two neighbors and the many others neighbors form the street hop into the bathtub fully clothed together, which was a very funny sight to see. To break the ice Brian tells everyone. “Luckily I ordered the extra large luxury bathtub during my bathroom renovation last year!” Everyone laughs nervously because they don’t know each other or their fate. All the neighbors and Brian wait in the bathtub for the cyclone to pass over. The neighbors wait for many hours in the bathtub together and were forced to know each other because they were piled on top of each other in such a small space. The cyclone never comes but the neighbors get out of the bathtub as new best friends especially Brian and the Chief Commissioner who discover they both follow the Sydney Kings basketball team. Now Brian goes to the actual Sydney Kings basketball stadium to watch the games as the special guest of the retired Chief Commissioner of Police. The retired Chief Commissioner of Police holds a lifetime Sydney Kings membership with courtside seats – and gets a police escort to and from the game. Brian gets to proudly lead the police escort riding his old stunt motorbike with a large Sydney Kings flag on the back. His new best friend the retired Chief Commissioner prefers to ride in the luxury of a stretch limousine but at the game they never leave each others side. Brian is currently in talks to get the 2023 Local Hero Award from the Summer Heights Mayor who wants to honor him for saving the town.

793.8 PLEASE READ THIS IF I GO MISSING. Diary Entry - 31st of October 2014 8.30 pm Hello I’m a scientist. My name is Stephen Simon Smith and I heard about this haunted paranormal library called the NSW State Library. There’s supposed to be a secret book in the shelves that tells you all of the secrets about this historical library and the secret book is supposed to only show up at night. At night the sandstone brick library has a green glow on the inside that can actually be seen through the windows from the outside. It looks like a scene from Ghostbusters if they went to investigate a ghost at the library. Dairy Entry – 31st of October 2014 8.45pm I’m inside the building and I don’t see anything weird at all. This should be a piece of cake. You know what……I take back all the words about this being a piece of cake. There are hundreds if not thousands of books, but the book I’m looking for is very different from the others so it’s not a ‘win, win’ for me but instead it’s a ‘win, lose’. Finding this secret book is going to take me forever! Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 9.00pm After one hour of searching randomly in the Non- Fiction section of the library I had a brainwave and decided to search section 793.8. 793.8 is the Magic tricks, juggling and ventriloquism section and I had a feeling a secret book revealing all the secrets of the library would be placed there to put other investigators off the scent. YES! I found it! Wait… what’s that sound coming from the basement. THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 9.45pm Why didn’t anyone tell me about the random monster sounds coming from the basement. I used my walkie talkie to contact someone from Headquarters. Headquarters tells me its because I’m the first person here to investigate the library. Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 10.01pm Suddenly I saw a robot under the glowing green exit sign. The robot was hovering above me. I was shaking. The robot told me his name was pathfinder and asked what I needed help with. Then the monster that was calling out from the basement yelled in a deep voice. "You can’t take that book,” the monster said in a scary voice. “It is my prized possession. If you don’t give it back I will either destroy you or ban you from the library forever.” Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 10.07pm The robot pathfinder leaped up and punched the monster out which stunned him for a few minutes. While lying on the floor of the library the monster woke up, looked me in the eyes and started to gradually transform. It was very quiet and the monster slowly drew me in by rapidly turning into different library books while going around in circles like a tornado. Then the monster disappeared completely. It gave me enough time to run back home with the secret library book safely in my hands. Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 10.50pm On the way home I saw small ghosts, tiny witches and a young ghostbuster but then I remembered it was just kids trickle treating as it was Halloween night! Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 10.55pm I began reading the secret book with my new robot companion pathfinder. Diary Entry – 31st of October 2014 11.59pm I finished reading the book and now understand all the library secrets. I heard a loud knock on the door. I opened the door and standing before me was a big robot that had hydrolic press pounders for arms and one big V for eyes. Well guess I need to return my library book! Hey pathfinder can you grab my library card. Book 2 to be continued: Roboware

SHIPWRECKED Bob and his three headed pet goat Rego landed on the island after seven stormy days at sea. The ship had sunk to the bottom of the sea and Bob and Rego had to swim 8km to just to get to the island. They were both feeling exhausted and were only able to salvage a soggy tomato and lettuce sandwich, a wet notebook, a leaky pen and an empty wine bottle from the shipwreck. Bob lay on the sticky wet sand with Rego as the powerful ocean current pushed them both towards the safety of the island. Bob and Rego needed to find shelter, food and water. They drag themselves off the sand and spy two vicious birds as large as a pterodactyls looking for prey in the palm trees. Without any weapons to fight the birds off Bob is scared. Bob looked around the island and found a dead man lying near a large birds nest. Bob thought he might be the birds next victim. He used the dead mans crisp white shirt to quickly make a knife using only Origami. A technique he learnt from his mother. “Oh no a bird,” says Bob dramatically. A wild bird chases Bob and corners him on the edge of a mountain. Bob tries to fight the bird off with Rego but when they loose balance they both fall off the cliff. Rego landed first and as Bob was flying through the air he luckily landed on Rego’s three heads cushioning his fall and saving his life. This would have instantly killed a normal goat but since Rego is different from other goats with three heads and six horns he survived. With so many close calls Bob decided to write a letter to an old friend. _____________________________________________________________ To my best friend Jeremy, I might not make it out alive but just remember you are my best friend. I’ve chosen to go forward even though I’ve lost all my supplies. I am eating a soggy sandwich I saved from the shipwreck while I write this and it tastes as good as a cheeseburger to me as I have not had food in such a long time and I’m so hungry. I made a sharp knife out of a dead man’s shirt using only Origami and that’s got me this far. If I ever see you again know this, live my legacy. Bob P.S. I hated you for stealing my cookie in Year 10. _____________________________________________________________ Bob rolled the message into the wine bottle saved from the wreckage and sealed it with the cork making a squeaky sound. He took the bottle to the ocean and threw it into sparkling water. Just then Rego went crazy rouge and started butting Bob with his multiple horns trying to get Bobs attention. Bob thought Rego was trying to kill him and started to freak out. Bob was lying on the ground with Rego breathing all over him with three mouths. “STOP REGO,” says Bob loudly. “STOP IT, STOP IT, “ screams Bob fighting for his life. Just then Bob hears a long loud “HONK” which sounds like a ferry from his hometown. Bob wiped his eyes in disbelief. He thought he was dreaming but floating on the ocean horizon was a ferry. Rego was just trying to save him. Bob hugged Rego and kissed all three heads. Bob said to Rego happily, “We’re going home.” Bob arrived home safely and ran quickly along his parent’s street. He saw his mothers favourite golden wattle tree and knew he was almost home. His mum opened the door thinking it is the mailman and was surprised it was her son. Bob handed his mum the sharp origami knife made from a dead mans shirt and she used it to calve the chicken at the family dinner table that night. Rego and Bob always preferred the soggy sandwiches from their shipwreck adventure over his mum's cooking but never told her as it was their little secret.